How to do your daughter's hair: 8 styles any dad can master

Right, let me say the important bit first: you do not need to be good at this. You do not need small hands, artistic flair or a single childhood memory of doing anyone's hair. You need a brush, a few bobbles and about three goes before it stops feeling weird. Your daughter does not want a salon. She wants you to have a crack at it, and she will happily wear a slightly wonky ponytail you did over a perfect one you didn't.

What kit do I actually need to do my daughter's hair?

You need five cheap things, and you almost certainly own two of them already. Doing hair badly with the right kit is far easier than doing it well with the wrong kit, so spend the tenner.

A detangling brush. The flexible-bristle kind (Tangle Teezer is the famous one, supermarket versions work fine) glides through knots instead of dragging. This single item removes about 80 per cent of the tears.
A spray bottle. Fill it with water, or water plus a squirt of leave-in conditioner. Damp hair behaves. Dry hair fights you. A quick mist before you start changes everything.
Snag-free bobbles. The seamless elastic ones, no metal join. Metal-clasp bands rip hair and hurt coming out. Buy a big bag in her favourite colour.
A few clips. Simple snap clips or a couple of crocodile clips to hold hair out of the way while you work on one section.
A wide-tooth comb. For partings and for curly or textured hair, where a brush is the wrong tool entirely (more on that below).

Keep the lot in one tin or wash bag by the bathroom mirror. Half the battle is not hunting for a bobble while she loses interest.

How do I brush my daughter's hair without making her cry?

Always start at the ends and work upwards, never from the scalp down. Brushing top-down just rams every knot into one big knot at the bottom, and that is what hurts.

Here is the order that works:

Mist the hair lightly with your spray bottle so it is damp, not soaked.
Hold a section in your fist a few inches above the ends, the way a hairdresser does. This takes the pull off her scalp.
Brush the very ends first. Once they are clear, move your grip up an inch and brush again.
Keep climbing until you can run the brush from root to tip in one go.

For a bad knot, do not yank. Hold above it, add a little more conditioner spray, and tease it apart with your fingers or the wide-tooth comb. Tell her what you are doing as you go. "I've got it, I'm holding it, you won't feel this bit" buys you a lot of patience from a five year old.

8 hairstyles any beginner dad can do

These are in order, easiest first. Master the first three and you will cover 90 per cent of normal life. The rest are for when you fancy showing off at a birthday party.

1. The low ponytail

The one to learn first. Brush all the hair back, gather it at the nape of her neck with one hand, and wrap a bobble round twice or three times until it is snug.

Keep it low and you avoid fighting gravity and lumps. If you want it neater, run the brush over the top once more after the bobble is in. Done. This is a completely respectable hairstyle and nobody will ever know it was your first.

2. Bunches (pigtails)

Two ponytails, one each side. Make a parting down the middle with your comb, clip one half out of the way, and tie the other side into a ponytail above the ear. Repeat on the other side.

The only trick is getting the two roughly even. Line them up by eye against her ears rather than measuring. Slightly uneven bunches on a toddler are a classic look, not a mistake.

3. Half-up half-down

Takes about forty seconds and instantly looks like you tried. Gather just the top section of hair, from roughly the temples up, and tie it back in a small ponytail. The rest hangs loose.

This keeps hair out of her eyes without the commitment of a full ponytail, and it suits pretty much every hair length and type. A small clip or bow over the bobble upgrades it for a party.

4. The top knot

A high bun, brilliant for hot days and swimming. Make a high ponytail on the crown of her head first, then twist the length of the ponytail around itself into a coil, wrap it round the base, and secure with a second bobble.

If bits escape, that is fine, pin them or leave them. A few loose strands look deliberate. The higher you start the ponytail, the easier the bun sits.

5. The ballerina (dance) bun

A neater, rounder version of the top knot for dance class or a school photo. Start with a high, tight ponytail, then spread the hair around the base instead of coiling it in a rope, so it fans into a doughnut shape.

A cheap foam "bun ring" (a couple of quid) makes this almost foolproof: thread the ponytail through the ring, tuck the hair over and around it, and pin. Slide a few grips in around the edge and a light mist of hairspray holds it through a recital.

6. The simple side plait

One plait over one shoulder, tidy and quick once the three-strand action clicks. Gather the hair to one side, split into three equal strands, and cross the outer strands over the middle one, alternating sides, all the way down.

The motion feels clumsy for the first day and then your hands just know it. If you want the full step-by-step with photos and the common beginner mistakes, we wrote a proper walkthrough in our guide to braiding your daughter's hair, including French and Dutch plaits once you are ready to level up.

7. The twist-back

The lazy parent's plait, and honestly my most-used trick. Take a section of hair from the front on each side, twist each one back away from her face, and join the two twists at the back with a single bobble.

It pulls the hair out of her eyes, looks like effort, and takes under a minute. Add a couple more twists lower down and pin them for something that passes as a hairstyle at a wedding.

8. The two-minute school run

When you have slept in and the bus is coming. Spray, quick brush from the ends up, scrape into a low or mid ponytail, and you are out the door. That is the whole style and it is completely fine.

If she wants something more, a half-up (number three) is your fastest upgrade and adds maybe twenty seconds. Keep a bobble on your wrist and a brush in the hallway and even the worst mornings stay calm.

How do I look after curly or Afro hair as a dad?

The single most important rule: do not brush curly or coily hair when it is dry. A brush through dry curls breaks the curl pattern, causes breakage and genuinely hurts. Curls and Afro-textured hair are looked after wet and with plenty of moisture.

The basics that will keep you on the right side of things:

Work on wet or damp hair, soaked in conditioner. Detangle in the bath or shower with conditioner still in.
Use a wide-tooth comb or just your fingers, never a bristle brush. Start at the ends, same as before, and go gently.
Lock in moisture with a leave-in conditioner or a curl cream after washing. Textured hair drinks moisture and dry hair is what causes most problems and tangles.
Try low-manipulation styles like loose plaits, two-strand twists or simple puffs that you do not have to redo every day.
Sleep on satin. A satin pillowcase or a little satin bonnet keeps the curls from frizzing and matting overnight, and saves you work in the morning.

Be honest about what you know. If your daughter's hair type is very different from your own and you are out of your depth, there is no shame in booking in with a specialist barber or a salon that knows textured hair, and asking them to teach you one wash-and-style routine you can repeat at home. Many will happily show you. A good local Afro hair salon is worth its weight in gold, and one lesson goes a long way.

When should I just leave it down?

Plenty of the time, honestly. Loose hair, a quick brush and a clip to keep it out of her dinner is a perfectly good answer on a lazy Saturday. Not every day needs a style.

The point of all this is not perfection. It is that she gets to sit between your knees on a Sunday morning while you have a go, the two of you chatting, and she learns that her dad shows up for the small stuff. The wonky ponytail is the whole point. If you want a few bits and bobs for the job, we have rounded up some lovely indie brands made for girl dads, and you can grab one of our own caps and tees while you are at it.

You will get the hang of it faster than you think. Give it a fortnight of school runs and you will be the dad doing a passable plait at the campsite while another parent quietly asks how you learned. The answer is just that you kept trying, and she let you.