Autumn days out with your daughter: bonfire night, lantern trails and Santa steam trains

Autumn is the best season for a dad and a daughter. The summer crowds are gone, the light goes early enough that a torch feels like an adventure, and from half-term to Christmas there is something on almost every weekend that a child of any age will talk about for weeks. It is also the season that needs a plan, because the good things sell out in October and the weather will test any day out that has not thought about rain.

This is the plan, in the order the season arrives: half-term, bonfire week, then the run into December. For each stretch I have picked what works for a dad and a child on their own, with the Dad Score logic made visible: what is weatherproof, what is free, what a four-year-old can stand through and what a ten-year-old will not be embarrassed by. Every event mentioned has its own page in our events directory, with dates, prices and a score.

Half-term: pumpkin fields, haunted castles and one proper scare

Half-term in the UK is the last week of October, which is Halloween week, which means every farm with a field has pumpkins and every castle has a ghost. Choose one of each and you have the week.

Pumpkin picking is the easy win. It is outdoors, it is cheap, and it ends with a pumpkin she has chosen herself and can carve at the kitchen table. Go on a weekday morning if you can; the fields are a mud bath by Saturday afternoon. Wellies, a change of trousers in the boot, and let her pick the ugly one if that is the one she wants.

A haunted trail is where you find out what kind of daughter you have. Some four-year-olds love a skeleton in a hedge; some eight-year-olds do not. Most of the big attractions now run a daytime family version and an after-dark one, and the difference is real. Theme parks like Alton Towers run their Halloween season through October, with the family trails in daylight and the proper scares roped off for older teens: our Scarefest page has the age split. Chessington and Warwick Castle do a similar job at a smaller scale.

One proper scare, if she wants one. Ask her. Do not decide for her either way. A ten-year-old who asks for the scary maze and gets it will remember that you trusted her. A ten-year-old who is marched into it will remember that too.

Weather plan: pumpkins in the rain are fine for about forty minutes. Castles have roofs. Book the castle for the wet day.

Bonfire night: the displays worth the crowds, and the ones to watch from a hill

Bonfire night is 5 November, and in practice the displays spread across the weekend either side. It is the most dad-shaped night of the year: cold, loud, slightly dangerous, and over by half eight.

The big organised displays are worth it once she is old enough to stand for an hour in the cold, which for most children is about five. Alexandra Palace in London and Leeds Castle in Kent both run a full evening: funfair, food, a drone show before the fireworks, then home. The catch is the crowd. Arrive early, agree a meeting point the moment you walk in, and put your phone number in her pocket.

The hill option is for toddlers, for tight budgets, and for the year she has decided fireworks are too loud. Every town has a hill or a top-floor car park with a view of three displays at once. Take a flask, a blanket and ear defenders, and leave when she says so. It costs nothing and there is no queue for the loo.

Diwali, if you are anywhere near Leicester. The Golden Mile lights and fireworks fall in the same fortnight, are free, and are one of the biggest celebrations of light outside India. Sweets, music, fireworks, and a story about why it matters that is worth telling on the way home.

Weather plan: fireworks happen in the rain. Feet get cold before anything else, so it is thick socks, not a bigger coat, that decides whether you last the evening.

Lantern and light trails: which ones are walkable with a buggy

From mid-November the country's gardens, zoos and stately homes light up for winter. These are the gentlest big nights out of the year, and the ones dads of toddlers should look at first, because a light trail is a walk with a reason.

The pattern is the same everywhere: a mile or so of illuminated path, a fire pit and hot chocolate halfway, and timed entry so it never feels crushed. The differences are surface and length. Longleat's Festival of Light is huge and mostly on tarmac, so a buggy is fine. Christmas at Blenheim Palace and Christmas at Hampton Court are shorter and grander, with the house as the finale. Chester Zoo's lantern trail runs through the zoo itself, which is the one a five-year-old will choose if you let her.

Book the earliest slot of the evening. It is dark by half four in December, the trails open around then, and a child who has done a mile of lights by six is a child who is asleep by eight.

Weather plan: these run in all weather and they are almost all outdoors. A good waterproof, gloves, and accept that the hot chocolate is part of the ticket price whether or not it is on the ticket.

Santa steam specials: book in October or miss out

If you do one thing from this list, do this. A steam train, a carriage full of children, a present from Father Christmas somewhere between two stations, and a dad who gets to pretend the train is the point. The heritage railways run these every weekend from late November, and they sell out in October, some of them within days of tickets going on sale.

The Severn Valley, the North Yorkshire Moors and the Bluebell railways are the big three, and every region has its own line doing the same thing. Prices are per person, adults included, so it is not a cheap afternoon. It is, in my experience, the one that gets asked for again the following year.

Two tips. Sit on the platform side if you can, so she sees the engine arrive. And do not tell her about the present. The look on her face when Santa walks down the carriage is the whole reason you booked.

If you want to make a weekend of it, several of the railways sit near the family hotels and forest lodges in our stays directory, and a night away in December is its own kind of present.

What should we bring for an autumn day out with a small child?

The same short list every time, in a bag that lives in the boot from October to January.

• Wellies and a full change of clothes, including socks. Especially socks.
• A waterproof for her and one for you. Umbrellas are useless with a child in one hand.
• Ear defenders for fireworks and steam whistles. Cheap, and they turn a scary noise into a fun one.
• A flask of something hot and a bag of something sweet. Bribery is a legitimate parenting tool after four in the afternoon.
• A head torch. Children love them, and it means your hands are free for hers.
• A blanket. For hills, for benches, for the car on the way home.

Is bonfire night suitable for toddlers?

Yes, with the volume turned down. Organised displays are loud and late, so for under-fours pick the hill option: watch from a distance where the bangs are soft, and leave when she has had enough, which is usually about twenty minutes in. Ear defenders make a real difference. If she is frightened, that is fine and she is not being difficult; a firework is genuinely alarming when you are two. Try a lantern trail instead, which has all the lights and none of the noise, and come back to fireworks next year.

The plan on one page

• Late October: pumpkin field on a dry morning, a castle or theme park trail on the wet day, and one proper scare only if she asks for it.
• First weekend of November: a big organised display if she is five or over, the hill with a flask if she is not. Diwali in Leicester if you are within an hour of it.
• Mid-November to January: one lantern or light trail, booked for the first slot of the evening.
• Any December weekend: a Santa steam special, booked in October.

Four days, one a fortnight, and each one a different kind of memory. You will not need the phone for any of them.